Tear Stained Stars
by Medoran Loki
Summary: Yeah so here's a sad and badly written one shot of Alex's depression after Niyx's death to really kickstart this account XD


**Hi y'all. Sorry this is so badly written b7t I hope it breaks your hearts or something :)**

 **DISCLAIMER: I ain't the author of the Medoran Chronicles.**

 **RATING: K+**

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 _Aeylia, I knew I would leave protecting you. You were–you_ are– _too important for this world to lose you. I will always be here, Kitten. The stars watch over you._ Alex flung open her eyes with a stifled scream. The bed sheets were strewn and distorted into ghostly shapes amongst the floor and bed alike. Hair clung to Alex's wet face and neck uncomfortably and her shirt was soaked through with blistering glands of sweat. She panted heavily, as though she'd been running. _Running from the truth._ She thought. She sat up and pulled back her sticky hair into a messy ponytail. Hot tears slid down her warm cheeks and strayed to the tip of her nose, dropping onto her already damp sheets. She released an inelegantly loud sob, her chest heaving. She thrashed back into her pillow and gripped her bed posts with whitened knuckles.

"Alex?" A tentative hand brushed her shoulder. She gasped and spun around violently. D.C pulled away ever so slightly before she could recover from her mistake. Alex clamped her eyes shut and breathed again.

"Alex?" D.C asked again, "Are you–" She caught herself, dumb question, "Do you…need anything?" She decided on. Alex shook her head.

"No… no, no. I can't–it's all my–no…" She shook her head again, flicking tears off her cheeks, licking the salty sweat from around her mouth away.

"I–um…" D.C stuttered. Alex flung the remaining covers off her bed and clamped onto her unwashed and crinkled coat that she so regularly used now. She rushed out of the bedroom sobbing loudly as she stormed down the hall. She burst through the doors, no doubt awaking more than one of the teachers, however no one stopped her. Although it was snowy and cold, Alex used the coat she had grabbed only for twisting and scrunching into distressed, deformed spindles of unhappiness. In a momentarily blinding flash of white, Soraya appeared bounding by Alex's side. In a swift, practiced motion she swung onto the shadowolf's back and clung onto her warm fur. In a second flash, Alex reappeared on a dark familiar cliff. The familiar roar of the intense, luminous waterfall left now only a void of nothingness as the winter froze it, as if time had stopped. As if Alex was reliving the same day over. And over. And over. She slid smoothly off Soyara's back once more and landed heavily on the dirt of her training clifftop, where she had spent so many early mornings with… _no_. With _him_. Every part of her screamed _danger_ as she stared out at into the darkness, surrounded by thick woods. But she didn't care. She needed this. Her memorial for him she needed to see, yet hated to looked at. She hunched over in pain, daggers piercing through her heart. She stopped herself from screaming, lest she draw attention to herself. _You are too important for this world to lose you._ She wanted to climb up to the stars. To yell at them, _So were you! That didn't stop Aven from–from…_ her thoughts stuttered and she collapsed onto the grass and stared up at the stars. _His_ stars. She could imagine his voice. Each word illuminated by a twinkle in the lights. She could picture him smiling down at her. _It was for the best. I had to go some day. Don't forget your role in this war._

"What?" She whispered, "What is my role? What is my place? With-without you…" She laughed through her tears. She'd lived almost all her wretched life without him, and yet, now it felt so empty, so incomplete, so useless without him. She looked up at cursed stars again with loathing, depression and desperation.

"Come back…" Alex breathed. She looked away, unable to see them a moment longer, but she only face more stars. Alex whipped her head around again and again but now it seemed there was no escaping the stars. She wrapped her arms around her knees tightly, as though maybe if she clenched into a small enough ball she dissolve entirely, never forced to stand through this pain again.

"Everywhere…" She murmured, rocking back and forth, "they're everywhere… everywhere… can't escape. Go. Go. Go." She whispered, clamping her eyes shut to the point where stars started dotting her blank eyelids. She released a shriek but her voice cracked and she could only let out silent wails. Unheard. Unseen.

Hours of noiseless cries passed and only when the sky began to tint orange and swallow the shimmering lights that induced the emptiness within Alex, did Soraya nudge Alex, curled in her ball, gently with her snout. Alex opened her eyes red from the tears, and sore from squeezing them shut so tightly, ever so slightly, risking a glance at the sky, to find it completely free of any stars. Alex released one last sob, instantly missing them, wishing they were still dotting the sky so she could remember him. She inhaled slowly and shakily, unfurling herself carefully and climbing onto Soraya, who understood the routine by now and disappeared and reappeared just outside the academy as she did every night. Alex jumped down and hugged Soraya tightly, letting the last tears fall, before walking back onto the grounds, already dreading the sleeplessness and pain that were to come that night.

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 **Okay so I hope you liked it! Sorry that it's bad writing, and that it's sad and sorry if there are heaps of grammatical errors (I'm sure there are :/) anyways I probably will upload soon so stay tuned! :)**

 **Skylerscrawl**


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